Note to self… Stay in the Growth

Why is it that as soon as you get to the good part of your growth period, (and I do mean, as soon as), does something occur that will literally have you ready to slip back into old habits and patterns?  When you’re finally getting to a point where you begin to realize that it’s some of your own sh*t getting in the way.  The moment where you’ve become so self-aware that you’re able to catch yourself from slipping, at least 85% of the time (I write this sentence and suddenly DMX’s “Slippin’” plays in my head – but I digress). Those closest to you are beginning to see growth for themselves, by the way you handle certain situations. YOU are starting to see and FEEL the growth you’ve worked so hard on. Then, BOOM! A true WTF moment. A sh*t storm. Is this some sort of Murphy’s Law at play? Are these the “must be God testing me” moments our grandmothers warned about? Well, whatever it is, stay in the growth.

Stay self-aware. Continue to do the work you’ve been doing.  Continue to trust your inner voice. Put your strategies and tools into place to help manage the anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach.  The grip that fear has on you in this very second – – BREATHE. DEEPLY.  BREATHE. MANAGE. Stay in the growth.

But (and there is always a “but,” right?) grant yourself grace.  Know that it’s OK to have that anxiety giving you what feels like the worst stomachache of your life.  Know and understand that it’s NORMAL to feel that fear breathing down your neck right now.  Be human. Feel and acknowledge all the feelings.  Sit in that honesty and be graceful with yourself today.   And maybe tomorrow if it calls for it.  See, part of your growth lay in recognizing that you will have these moments, the setbacks.  There will be things that happen that may shift what you thought growth looked like to the side.  And it’s OK for that to be the case – for a moment.  Growth includes not minimizing your feelings, not even to yourself.  Especially, to yourself.  It includes the transparency you offer those important to you when you say, “I am not OK.” It includes the boundaries you set with the anxiety and fear, when you meditate an affirm that you will not sit in this space for too long. 

Growth has consistent ebbs and flows.

Move with it.

Rock with it.

But always be breathing.

Be encouraged.